75 Funny things to do in an elevator! and 101 funny things to do at Walmart!

1. When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn’t you!
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock, smile and go back for more!
3. Ask if you can push the buttons for other people, but push the wrong ones!
4. Call the Psychic Hot-line from your cell phone and ask them if they know what floor you’re on!
5. Hold the doors open and say you’re waiting for a friend, after a while let the doors close, and say, “Hi Greg. How’s your day been?”
6. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
7. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator!
8. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment!
9. Lay down a twister mat on the floor and ask people if they would like to play!
10. Leave a box in the corner, and whenever someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking!
11. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers!
12. Ask everyone in the elevator, “Did you feel that?”
13. Stand really close to them, sniffing them occasionally!
14. When the doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay, don’t panic, they open again!”
15. Swat at flies that don’t exist!
16. Tell people that you can see their aura! (their spirit)
17. Call out, “Group Hug!” and then enforce it!
18. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, “Shut up, all of you, just shut up!”
19. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, “Got enough air in there?”
20. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off!
21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, “You’re one of them!” and back away slowly!
22. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers!
23. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope!
24. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button!
25. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, “I have new socks on!”
26. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, “This is MY personal space!”
27. Put police tape in front of the door before entering!
28. Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn’t you!
29. Hold an auction!
30. Do the “Potty dance” all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved!
31. Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is a male. Even more effective if you yourself are a male!
32. Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them “you won’t ride in an elevator that’s not fung shwei!”
33. Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you “Admiral!”
34. Hum the first six notes of the “It’s a small world” over and over again!
35. When you brush past someone, whisper, “Was it good for you too?”
36. Lean over to another rider and whisper “Noogie patrol coming!”
37. Have a heated debate with yourself!
38. Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers!
39. Drum on every available surface!
40. Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out “pirate” maps to everyone as they enter!
41. Give psycothearapy to the other passengers!
42. Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for everyone.
43. Say “ring ring, ring ring,” then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking to it!
44. Propose to the other passengers!
45. Challenge people to duels!
46. Sell girl scout cookies!
47. Bring a large pile of ice and build an igloo on the floor!
48. Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger,”… I’m kinda nervous… this is my first time flying!…”
49. Anytime someone enters the doors, recoil in horror!
50. Stick your tounge out. Act like it’s a cigarette, and ask someone for a light!
51. Pitch a tent on the floor, and “camp out” for the weekend!
52. Play, “I’ve got your nose” with the other passengers!
53. Shout “FOOD FIGHT!“
54. Everytime someone else talks, angrily shout: “Some people are trying to sleep here!”
55. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarressed when they open by themselves!
56. Lick one of the buttons!
57. Tell the other passengers you’re sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back!
58. Elevators were practically made for riverdance!
59. Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Everytime the lift goes up or down shout, “WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!”
60. Make Sushi!
61. Shave!
62. Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream,”OH MY GOD!!! We’re all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It’s over! IT’S OVER!!!” Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat!
63. Ask the other passengers if they want to see your class clown collection!
64. Practise your Kung Fu!
65. Make race car noises when people get on and off!
66. Ask everyone in the elevator: “Are you my Mother?”
67. Fly a model aeroplane!
68. Do Yoga!
69. Play the accordian!
70. Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask people if they like your hat!
71. Bring a rocking chair, sit and knit!
72. Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone!
73. Enter with a shovel, and attempt to,”Dig for Treasure!”
74. Read, “Green Eggs and Ham” at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word!
75. When your standing in the quiet…. burst out LAUGHING!

Most of these things will either annoy the people in the elevator or give them the impression that you’re a complete wierdo, most of them wil make some people get out of the elevator as soon as they can, even if it isn’t their floor!!!

I’m sorry to say this but all of these will make you look like a complete idiot!!!!

101  funny things to do at Walmart!

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals
throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvin ball; see how many people you can get
to join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW,
especially thin narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I
think we’ve got a Code 3 in House wares,” and see what
happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off
and turn the volumes to “10″.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen
you in so long!…” etc. See if they play along to avoid
embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask
yourself loud enough for all to hear, “Who BUYS this junk,
anyway?”

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re
taking it for a “test drive.”

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about
five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the
department.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store
as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look
mesmerized and say, “Wow. Magic!”

20. Put M&M’s on layaway.

21. Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll
only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can “catch” from
the other aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around
saying,”…I’m Batman. Come, Robin, to the Bat cave!”

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell “hello”
upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,
“Why won’t you people just leave me alone?”

30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired
employees if there are any in stock, i.e., “Do you have any
Shnerples here?”

31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale
battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

32. Take bets on the battle described above.

33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
“Mission: Impossible.”

35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while
squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him” I
need some tampons!!”

36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

37. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, “Would you be so kind as to direct me to
your Twinkies?”

41. Set up a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: “Marco Polo.”

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet
food aisle, etc.

44. “Re-alphabetize” the CD’s in Electronics.

45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the
restrooms

46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at
something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker,
assume the fetal position and scream, “No, no! It’s those
voices again!”

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and
relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain
that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little
umbrella in it.

51. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice
possible “sex and candy”

52. Try putting different pairs of women’s panties on your
head and walk around the store casually.

53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the
mannequins.

54. Nonchalantly “test” the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run
between them, yelling, “Red Rover!”

56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror
while you pick your nose.

57. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes.
(Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)

58. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly
ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act
as spastic as possible.

59. While no one’s watching quickly switch the men’s and
women’s signs on the doors of the rest room.

60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch
everyone’s jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

61. In the auto department, practice your “Madonna” look with
various funnels.

62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse
through, say things like “the fat man walks alone,” and scare
them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

63. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you
and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is
breaking up with you and you begin crying “How could you
do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was
another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME
darling.” Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto
the ground screaming and having convulsions.

64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people
out.

65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and
begin stroking it lovingly, saying “Good girl, good Bessie.”

66. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of
shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the
boxes and throw it in various aisles.

67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

68. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every
perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another
girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way.
“hi!!!! (giggle) What’s your sign?(giggle).” When the boy
shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way.
“hi!!!! (giggle) What’s your sign?(giggle).”

69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples
carts when they don’t realize it!

70. Walk around the perfume department with a bottle of
super strong perfume and spray people as they walk by. Lean
in and sniff them then jump back and wave your hand in front
of your nose and saying “Oh god, your over powering the
perfume!!”

71. Hit on the elderly.

72. Hit on 5 year olds.

73. In the food aisle, pretend like there’s a little bug, slowly
move your head to the right, then swing your head to the left
as if your trying to follow it. Slowly lower your head to the
ground, then start spinning around in circles stomping like
crazy. Then finally yell out “Yes!!! I got it!!! Wow, that was
the biggest Cockroach I’ve ever seen, I think it was pregnant!!!
Hey look, there’s another one!!!” Then Repeat.

74. Repeat 73 with a can of bug spray.

75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that you’re a cat.
Meow when people walk by; rub up against their legs, etc.

76. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a
prissy English Man. Say things like “Cheerio, good man.” to
people who walk by. And don’t forget to have perfect posture.

77. Start grunting like Beavis and Butthead while chasing your
friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those
electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they
don’t know you.

78. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for
toddlers. Fit the character; if your on a hoarse, then pretend
that your a cowboy, etc.. And If a little kid comes over
wanting to use it, start barking at them until
they run away crying.

79. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind
customers and “accidentally” hit the people instead of your
friend.

80. Excessively use anything thing that says “Try Me”.

81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.

82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.

82. Walk up to the customer service and when they say
“Hello, how may I help you?” say “Yes, I’ll have a Quarter
Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of
french fries and a diet coke.” And when they start to talk, say
“Oh, to go”. Then when they say that they can’t give it to you
say “Oh, This is because I’m gay isn’t it? I’d expect this from
Caldor’s, but not Wal-Mart. People who are gay are just like
everyone else you know. You disgust me” Then walk away
mumbling to yourself. If your a guy, try to act as valley- girl-
like as you can

83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people
asking where the rash cream is because your family and all
your friends seem to have a rash too.

84. When you’re alone, have loud conversations with your
“multiple personalities”. Have an English man, a Southern
person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old
girl all at the same time. You have to use accents. They should
sound like this: “Great idea good fellow, we shall have a jolly
good time.(English)” “Look, all I want to do, is wok ta
Stawbucks and git a cawfee(New York)” Etc.

85. Start “dancing” like mad. Basically, just wail your arms
and legs around like you’re having some kind of massive
seizure.

86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the
store.

87. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to
leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your
walking through the doors As if you’re suspecting the alarms to
go off. Then when it doesn’t go off, let out a big sigh. Then
quickly look around you to see who’s watching and run away
as fast as your can.

88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger,
your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while
singing the circus song.

89. Put jockstraps in the lingerie department

90. Put lingerie in the men’s department.

91. Put super sexy lingerie in old men’s carts when they turn
around.

92. When your alone, start screaming help and yelling that
someone is trying to rape you. Then when everyone runs over,
start crying and saying “All I ever wanted was a little
attention” Then run away crying.

93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while,
start saying blink every time it blinks. Don’t look away, just
stay mesmerized.

94. Walk up to a lady and calmly say “Help me. The voices in
my head are telling me to do naughty things.” Then clap your
hands over your ears, fly yell head around and start screaming
“NO!!! I DON’T WANT TO HURT THE NICE LADY NO
NO NO NO!!!!” Then suddenly stop, look her straight in the
eyes, and calmly say “I…will start…a fire…” The pull out a
Zippo and start laughing hysterically in an evil way. But don’t
light the Zippo, just hold it closed.

95. Light a match under a sprinkler.

96. Walk up to someone and say “Oh, so you’re back for more. I
warned you never to come back here. Wait here while i go get
my shot gun”. Then walk away.

97. Walk up to a guy and say “Oh my god, is it you? Oh my
god it is!!! I haven’t seen you in so long!!!!” Then kiss him.
Then slap and him say “Why didn’t you ever call me??” Then
walk away. Much more affective if you’re a guy.

98. Stand next to a mannequin and pretend that you’re a
mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as
possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your
watch and say. “Finally, my shift is done. I really don’t get
paid enough to do this”

99. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.

100. Act like your about to cry and ask people “Have you seen
my mommy?”

101. Steal a Wal-Mart shirt. The possibilities are endless.

BONUS* Attempt all of the above during the same visit.

P.S. Wal-Mart is a shop in America!

Thx!

Cyaz!